Who needs a visa?

Packed in a room half the size of my kitchen, I stood amongst forty other hopeful travellers last Tuesday trying to get a transit visa for Kazakhstan to get to Bishkek.

No lines, no organization, just mounting anger, discomfort, and one great cesspool of impatience.

An elderly woman was slapped and pushed back by two younger Russian ladies and when her husband tried desperately to rush to her aid he also was pushed back and told to back off.

These people weren't messing around.

The second one person left the few inches of window space, ten others smashed themselves forward in pursuit of being next, causing the greatest debaucle I have seen in a long, long time.

Then people started screaming at each other, pushing, smacking, shoving and more fights broke out.

For almost four hours I waited among them all, gasping in horror at the Russian curses flying, and praying that I would get my chance at the window.

Then the largest man in Turkmenistan stepped through the door holding about fourteen documents and passports in his hand. He smelled of cows, sour milk and sweat and he was heading STRAIGHT FOR ME.

I was trapped...backed in a corner behind this massive fellow, against the wall with my hand clamped over my nose and mouth to stop the smell. He was working his way up to the window, using his weight as his best weapon.

Finally enough was enough. The poor man working at the window threatened to close down and no one would get their visas unless we shut up and behaved.

So it worked...an hour later I got my paperwork through the window, smiled widely and asked him if I could pick up my visa on Thursday instead of Wednesday.

"Ohhhh please, PLEASE, oh my GOD, PLEEEAAASE come back Thursday!!!!!!!" he barked through the window as he grabbed the next person's paperwork.

Cool and confident I returned to the embassy early this morning after an eleven hour train ride into the capital, praying over and over that my visa would be ready.

I peered through the little window when the crowd parted mid-morning and asked him in broken Russian if my visa was ready.

"WHAT?????" he yelled. "Why didn't you come YESTERDAY?????"

He picked it up off the pile to his right and I grabbed it out of his hand as soon as I had the chance. I gave him a wink and skipped triumphantly out of the building.

I am on my way.