September 10, 2008
Songs to describe my life at this time last semester:
“She’s Gonna Break Soon” by Less Than Jake
“I Wanna Be Sedated” by the Ramones
“You Can’t Always Get What You Want” by The Rolling Stones
“Stronger” by Kanye West
Songs to describe my life right now:
“Imagine” by John Lennon
“Blowing in the Wind” by Bob Dylan
“Waiting on the World to Change” by John Mayer
And everything and anything by Fergie
I feel like everything has just swirled around and changed and hit me upside the head with reality and lack thereof at the same time.
I go through the weirdest pangs and sensations here. I will go for days thinking that I can’t imagine not being a part of these people’s lives, and that two years is not nearly long enough to be here.
And then today I had the weirdest craving for a McDonalds cheeseburger and all I wanted was to go home.
I never even ate cheeseburgers that often back home.
I don’t know why I’m so weird.
But the connection is real. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be here for two years and not truly connect with someone. For me that one person has been my host mother…I owe her my entire Peace Corps experience. I have never met someone with such a humongous heart of gold, and I know there’s a reason we came into each other’s lives.
Fifteen months is a long, long time.
And at the same time, not nearly long enough.
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1 comment:
So, you left Tstan to travel outside in the rest of the real world for a while.
This caused a discontinuity right in the middle of your service.
The discontinuity broke the "spell of newness" we experience when we first go to a different culture.
So, now you are back and some things feel the same but thoughts of the outside world are creeping in more often.
Thus, the desire for a cheeseburger as opposed to "what's in the cow".
Perfectly normal. And yes, 24 months is just enough time to stir up your emotions but not nearly enough time to fully satisfy.
That's the blessing and the curse of being a PCV.
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