How Low Can You Go?

December 22, 2007


I truly believe that a strong sense of humor is vital in every situation, but here there are so many things that you just have to laugh about because it’s just the way it is. So with that being said, I think I was blessed to have a host family with such a strong sense of humor. I’ve spent hours laughing with them over the most ridiculous things, hilarious things, and sometimes even serious things we found humor in.

But I’m left with a question…how low can you go until it’s culturally inappropriate? Since I can’t explain myself in English, joking in the Turkmen language has become a huge part of my life. However, this is something I’ve learned the hard way, through trial and error: What is okay to joke around about, and what is off limits?

Situation #1

My 16-year-old host sister walks in with her hair wrapped up in a scarf. I point and laugh because she looks different and she smiles and says she just washed her hair. “Oh, your monthly bath!” I tell her. “Good, your hair was really beginning to smell!”

The entire room bursts into laughter, everything is okay.

Score: 100 Percent Okay

Situation #2

My 16-year-old host sister and I are cleaning up after dinner. She gathers together the scraps into a dish for the dog outside, points to it, and tells me that she’s going to go feed my boyfriend.

Everybody laughs, I shout back some retort thinking I’ll get her back worse later.

Score: 100 Percent Okay

Situation #3

My older host sister is wearing a new dress, and she tells me she has another new dress and is wondering if I’d like it. She goes to get it, and it’s about ten sizes too big for me. I burst into laughter, point at the dress asking why the heck they would think I’d like it, not realizing it’s the same exact pattern as my sister’s new dress.

I ask who bought the dress and my host mother tells me that she did. Still laughing, carried away by the hugeness of the dress, I ask her why she’d buy such a thing. Other people are laughing but my host sister is trying to explain that they would resize it for me, but I wasn’t listening until it was too late.

I later realized that the dresses were the exact same pattern and I was being rude by saying I didn’t like the dress.
Score: Not really okay, but little damage caused

Situation #4

My host sister-in-law is sitting with me having breakfast. She’s so beautiful and sweet and I tell her so. Then, jokingly, I tell her, “You’re so wonderful… I bet you have a lot of boyfriends.”

“NOOO!!! No no no, Angela,” she says.

“Oh yes, I think when I’m not looking you probably have lots of guys wanting to go out with you.”

“NOOOOOOO,” she says, shaking her head angerly. I think she can tell I’m joking because I’m just smiling and laughing over it, but she didn’t like that I said that.

I learned later that the most insulting thing you can say to a married woman is that they have someone else on the side. If anyone at all whatsoever suspects them of having another man they are completely shamed and disowned by the family.

Score: Completely and absolutely culturally inappropriate

Moral of the story: Keep your sense of humor, but try and check yourself before you wreck yourself.